Somebody that I follow tonight posted a somewhat angry, definitely bitter disagreement with the theory behind this phrase, and I have to say that I agree. Maybe I'm not as angry as she is, but that could be all relevant to a bad mood that she's in. Regardless - I've never had this way of thinking, and without ever considering why, never thought it could be a trusted way to live by. Sure, sometimes when the world is overwhelming and you feel like you've put an inordinate amount of energy into getting from one place to the next and made no progress, all your mind can handle anymore is to sit back and let things play out; you realize that you can't control the situation, or even affect it a bit, and that rather than pointlessly wasting energy trying to shape the outcome of a situation it is best to prepare for how to deal with whatever the outcome may be.
But really, I have to agree with this woman that living by "what's meant to be, will be" feels lazy, and gives no justification for being upset when things don't turn out the way that you want them to. This phrase is used with dreams, goals, careers, etc. and for those instances it is more obvious that you can't sit back and let things happen. Because you know what will happen? You likely won't achieve it, because you didn't put the work in. That's an obvious one. But so many people use this phrase in the context of relationships - and it drives me crazy. Relationships take work, and effort, and time, and patience. They do not just happen, they do not just thrive, they do not exist without some extent of give and take for each other, and they do not last simply because they are meant to be. Now this isn't an excuse to stay in an unhealthy relationship by saying all relationships require work and effort; what it is, though, is a challenge of this passive phrase that allows people to assume that life will take care of itself yet we can still complain about an unfavorable outcome despite the fact that we didn't put any effort in.
The idea of a relationship that's "right" being easy, and effortless, and simple isn't true. Those words are relative. A relationship shouldn't be chaos, and constant clashing, but it will require work, and it will require compromising and thinking of somebody other than yourself. I'm sure there are many people who disagree with me, and some people who will read this and feel like their way of life is being dismantled and attacked. It's not meant to tell you that you are living your life entirely the wrong way, and always have been, but more to challenge a mode of thinking and to show when it might be okay to use it and when it could end up doing harm rather than good. I hope this interests some people, and leads people to reflect on themselves a bit.
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