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Saturday, May 19, 2012

Tuesday marks the start of a new lifestyle


They say it takes 21 days of something to make it a habit - to adjust to a lifestyle change. That's what this is for me, a lifestyle change. I don't want working out and being in shape to a temporary aspect of my life that comes and goes. I don't want to say that I was in the best shape of my life when I was in high school balancing three varsity sports, or in college playing Division 1 softball. I want to be thirty years old and feel like I'm twenty. I want to feel invincible, like I could run for days; I want to feel strong, refreshed, healthy. I decided to take this last semester of my sophomore year off from working out to let my body recuperate from the stress that athletics has put on it, and now it is time move towards the next step. I've always had a reason to be in shape, because I've always been involved in a sport in some way; but, I won't be playing sports for the rest of my life, particularly not on a team like I am used to, and don't want to lose that aspect of my life when I move on to the next chapters. I want to amaze people with my commitment, and be the one that my friends and peers look at and say "wow, I wish I had the motivation to be in shape like that."

So Tuesday marks the start of a better lifestyle. I am not looking to deconstruct how I have been living and eating and rebuild myself, because there is a difference between a "change in lifestyle" and completely altering how I have been living. Let's get this straight: I am not trying to lose weight, I am not out of shape, and I do not need, for health reasons, to change my diet; I simply want to feel better. This is much more about how I feel vs. how I look. So, I won't be saying goodbye eternally to bacon, or coffee, or Coca-cola, or chicken tenders; but, I will try to drink more water than I do Coke (I have an addiction, it's fine), and if I'm choosing between fried chicken tenders and a pasta dish I will try to go with the not-fried option... and pasta, I will buy whole wheat pasta and bread instead, and maybe grab a banana instead of that grilled cheese in my school's cafeteria when I need just a little more to eat. And all of those things that I love to eat and drink - popcorn, bacon, Coke, curly fries, pizza, mac & cheese, chicken tenders, coffee, etc. - I will still eat, just a little less often.

So June 12th should mark the end of the "21 days" it is supposed to take to make these new changes a lifestyle. I can't wait to check back in and see how I feel.

Thursday, May 17, 2012

Cleansing.

Well, it's the end of another year at school, which marks my half-way point at college. A lot has changed in these last few years, let alone this year. I have a more definitive path in terms of what I am looking to do after college, and an internship this summer in that field to help solidify where I want to go career-wise. I have been lucky to have had good jobs in the past with very nice, accommodating bosses, but those jobs never truly related to where I saw myself heading. I am very excited to take a step in my career direction this summer, and gear up for what I am anticipating being a rough junior year in academics. I finished this semester with the strongest grades I have had in my college career thus far, and it felt really great to see that my hard work paid off; that late nights, decisions not to procrastinate, throwing myself in to class discussion, and pushing through when I wanted to say "fuck it, this paper is good enough as is," all led to an outcome to be proud of. Hanna and I are also taking steps forward. A year ago we were just beginning our relationship, hopeful to see where it would lead us. Now, we have been together for a year and are engaged, and as she prepares to graduate this weekend and to step foot into the real world, I prepare to look towards that journey, too. I scheduled classes early in the morning with 1 three-hour lecture at night, and a lab during the day on Mondays, and will have a job during the school year next year. Hanna and I will be sharing some expenses, trying to adopt a dog, and balancing our lives. It's not a typical experience, especially for a college student, and I'm sure some would ask why I set such a rigorous schedule for myself instead of enjoying the college freedom, but I am more excited about taking a partial step into the real world to balance the mature relationship that I am so fortunate to have with Hanna than I would be to spend my days doing nothing. I am excited about getting used to living off of our income and controlling our finances. It's going to be tough - I can't pretend that it won't be - but I believe that we are ready, and capable, as I always have believed. All of this being said, I have reached somewhat of a different mindset as I head into this summer.

With all of the changing, growing, maturing, learning, life, and love that these past few years, but this past year in particular, have brought me, I have also had a change of direction mentally: I need less, and I want to get a little more back to my roots. I want to give more and take less. I want to give more to my body by getting back to a consistent exercise and lifting routine, and take less from it by cutting out some of the ridiculously unhealthy things I eat now (I am a Coca-cola addict, for example). I want to give more to the community and others by donating so much of the old clothing that I held on to from high school because I thought that I'd forever cherish each of my 20+ t-shirts with my school name written across the chest; 20 years from now that would be an awesome thing to still have, to show my kids, but I think one or two will do. I want to take less from the environment, and make a greater effort to live without the convenience of certain things at the expense of the Earth beneath me. There are certain things I can't change about myself, and I'm not looking for a complete deconstruction and rebuilding of who I am, but this progression is part of who I am too. I am in need of a cleansing of mind, body, and soul; a process of letting go of the stress that was this past year, of giving back, of taking only what I need, of working for others to better myself, and spreading love.

So once I get myself settled back in here I am going to do a massive, multi-day cleaning out of my room: closets, desk, drawers, everything. I will have a lot of clothing that I will be giving away to those who needs it, and a lot of old "crap" that I'll be throwing out to make room for new things. I will be cleaning out my computer, unclogging it of all of the random things from this past school year and the things that I meant to delete but never did. It's been one hell of a year that I am so thankful for. I have learned so much, and as Hanna and I both move forward into this next chapter together I am taking the good with me, leaving the bad behind, and making a small shift that hopefully helps me maintain that balance.