First Kiss

Because of the second part of this question I'm assuming you're saying "together" as a classy way of hooking up haha :) If not, this is awkward and just tell us in our ask and I'll answer whatever you actually meant haha.

The first time we were together was the build up a ton of sexual tension that had been intensifying from the moment we met, so when we finally got that opportunity we were both really nervous. What if all of that tension built up and it wasn't as amazing and we didn't have the chemistry we though we would? What if we messed up a beautiful friendship for something that didn't work out?

But, when we finally kissed for the first time it was nothing short of perfect. It was magic, and personally, despite the expectations we built, I was even blown away by how much I didn't want to stop kissing her. I thought the idea of "sparks flying" was purely metaphorical and mental, but there was something physically electric about that first time. Given how high we had made our expectations for the chemistry and flawlessness of what we could be together, odds were we it was going to fall a little short; but it far surpassed anything either of us could have ever imagined. We were so wrapped up in that kiss, in that moment, in what the rest of the night held and what the future could unravel to be. Nothing in that moment mattered except me, and her - nobody else. It was the kind of fire that ignites an un-destroyable passion in both of us that we could never let go of.

It was a kiss that made every kiss or more with anyone else before it irrelevant and meager.

January Morning

It's 11:11 a.m. on a Saturday morning in January and Hanna is snuggled into the space between my neck and my shoulder with her arm and leg draped over me. She's half-awake and absolutely adorable. I am so thankful for her in my life. Since we began I have entered a world where I wake up happy every single day and rest easy by her side (most nights, except when we have to do the long distance thing). It's the beginning of the second semester of her senior year, and with that comes many of the stresses I refused to think about until this time. In the next few months we will find out where she will be next year and how far our 2 years of long distance will be. I must admit, it's scary to think about, especially if she is a flight vs. a drive away. Two years is a long time to have to spend apart when we are so ready to start our lives together now, even though we know there are some things we have to get through first before we can truly begin that next chapter (I have to graduate, she has to establish where she is living and working, etc.). When I think about all that has happened in 2 years, and apply that length of time to a world in which we may only get to see each other every few weeks (which, all things considered, would be amazing), or months, it's scary. I know my love for her will never die, but it will be immeasurably painful to be so far away. My only hope is that somehow she will find a great job opportunity somewhere a few hours away. I wouldn't mind the 4 or 5 hour drive every now and then, just load up on some coffee, food, and good music and it will all be worth it. Above all else, though, I could never imagine enduring two years of long distance to get to the better part of life with anybody else. She is my world, my everything, and I am here to stay no matter where she ends up. I will put everything into making it work and I know she will too, and as long as our love stays strong we will make it. That doesn't diminish how hard it will be to wake up on a Saturday morning without this, but having her in my life regardless of distance makes me happier than I ever thought I could be. She is amazing, and as I told her last night, I think if we never had met I still would have missed her; I would have felt her missing, but I wouldn't have known what it was. For now I'm going to curl back up in bed with her, throw my arms around her, and feel so incredibly lucky to be able to wake up this way.

Anonymous Tumblr Challenge Post #1: How "love at first sight" took some form in my relationship

The first time I saw Hanna I was drawn to everything about her. She has a radiant smile, a talent for making people laugh, and sweetness about her that showed the depth to which she could care about someone. I need to be part of her life in one form or another, and what we thought was an amazing friendship was masking a love waiting to be set on fire. When we finally came forward with how we both felt about each other there was no stopping and no slowing down. I knew she was going to be an important part of my life and I always wanted to be around her. We fell in love faster than we could realize it and have spent every moment since falling farther together. She is my world, my rock, and someone I am so grateful to have in my life. The first time I saw Hanna I had no idea what was about to hit me, but I knew against all fear of loving again that I wanted to love and be loved by her.

There's No Comfort in the Waiting Room

Right now my best friend is almost three hours away in the waiting room of a hospital surrounded by the most loving family I have ever had the privilege to be a part of. I am not related by blood, though I could easily pass as another cousin on her mom's Irish side of the family, but every one of Casey's siblings, parents, cousins, aunts, uncles, and grandparents feel like my own. Just a little over a year ago, tragedy struck when her cousin was killed in a fatal motor cycle accident and I have never been more affected by others' pain as I was by this. I came home from college in the middle of my softball pre-season and told my harsh and anything-but-lenient division 1 coach that I was leaving. "Asking" was never an option. I was not requesting to go home, but informing her that I was going home, because she is my family. I wavered cautiously by Casey that entire weekend trying to balance being the arms for her to fall into and letting her take the space and time she needed. I was incredibly thankful to be welcomed with loving arms to even what are usually "family-only" parts of letting someone go, and my eyes were open to the fragility and beauty that is life. I had met him a few times before but we were never as close as I am with some of Casey's cousins, yet experiencing the pain of so many people that I cared about changed me forever. I wasn't just there for Casey, but also to put my arm around her brother who remained incredibly strong through everything and let the consoling arms hold his sister and mother instead. I was there to hold her younger cousins whom I have become very close to, have stayed at my house, and become family in my parents' eyes as well. It is an indescribably lucky experience to have two families feel like one, and I feel so blessed that Casey and I are at the route of that. During that weekend I saw strength and love in a family unmatched by any measure of the two qualities that I had seen before - in anyone, in anything.

Tonight her cousin Claire is in surgery for a brain tumor, and I simply don't understand what power of nature allows a ten-year-old to go through that. It feels wrong being so far away, and I feel a weird sense of being out of place sitting at home in front of my computer. I feel like where I belong right now is in that waiting room too. She is in some of the best hands this country has to offer, and once again this family's love and strength is overcoming the most trying challenges. I can't imagine sleeping tonight until I hear from her.

This family possesses a bond that I could never find words to describe. They are the most beautiful, loving people, and I can't imagine my life without them. I can't express how fortunate I feel every day, but particularly tonight to call Casey my best friend. She is inspirational, selfless, and the epitome of strength and goodness in my eyes. It's so rare that two people can spend an infinite amount of time together and not get sick of each other, can make themselves completely vulnerable and not feel threatened before each other, can assure each other of unconditional love even at each other's weakest, and can trust without fear of betrayal. I have found that and I will never let it go. Her family is equally amazing and deserves the best that life has to offer, and just as she sees tonight how lucky she is to be part of such a supportive and devoted family, I sit here and feel blessed too. I love you, Case.

Irritable

I'm in an unbelievably, ridiculously bad mood and have been for the past 2-3 days. Everything annoys me, the smallest things can send me downhill, and no activity whether it's working, running, sitting at home, or running errands feels satisfying or releases tension. Everything is frustrating, and every person has the ability to get on my nerves. I need to do something to let this go and find a way out of it.

People Watching

I am sitting in a Starbucks in my hometown and it's around 3:15 on a Thursday. I am waiting for the inevitable rush of preppy students in their maroon and navy kilts to walk in from my high school and middle school, anxious to order their grande ice caramel macchiato with extra whip, annoyed at their parents for not letting them go to that party on Friday night, and nervously darting their eyes around to see how might come in next (God forbid somebody walks in that they're unprepared to see or somebody that they would like to look prettier for). There's the typical business men in long black wool coats and scarves, high-strung mothers, artsy writers lined up along the bench as I am, and the casual stay-at-home-dads reading the newspaper or a book on their iPads. I wonder what their stories are, what are they doing here. I know why I'm here: I had lunch with a friend and needed to let the food settle before I go for my afternoon run, but don't want to sit at home - simple. But, what kinds of lives do these people lead? Do they go home to happy families, or do they go home to a destructive teenager and a husband that puts in less than he should. Are they lonely, or are they on top of the world, or they happily independent?

A boy sits next to me, probably in his mid-twenties, and he is different. He wears a grey wool top hat and a long back trench coat, has long dirty-blonde hair with a goatee and mustache. He is nods his head to the music an walked with a certain bounce to his step. He is the guy most would look at and peg as a strange teenager, probably into heavy metal, and likes to talk about things like Plato and conspiracy theories and Harry Potter. He's the kind of guy that the preppy high school students would look at as the outcast, and the parents look at him as "not the kind of guy I would want my daughter or son to date." He is my favorite, though, of all of the people that have walked in here, because in reality he is probably the guy that would treated you well instead of the accessory that a lot of the jocks around here treat people. He probably knows a thousand songs by small, unheard of bands that you would never give a shot, like him, that make incredible music. He can probably hold a conversation, unlike many of the guys around here, and will talk to you about things that you can't talk to others about because others won't care. He probably isn't afraid to show his heart, because the way he gets outcasted his emotions have spent a little more time developing than those of the instantly-excepted basketball star.

My point? Sometimes you find the best people in the most disguised appearances. As humans we innately stereotype because it is in our evolutionary nature to pick out what is different about people and fill in the unknown with speculations; that is okay, because it's natural, but it is what we do with those stereotypes that matter. Give the ones that seem different a chance, because often they will turn out to be some of the best people you meet. Remember that everyone has a story and a purpose, and everybody needs someone to give them a chance to tell that story. Sometimes you also find these people buried beneath their own personalities because they are trying to find in, and it takes someone caring to see that there is more to them. Try to deepen your relationships by giving the "different" ones a chance. Some of the most important, influential, and inspiring people in my life are "different," and I thank God that they are because by being that they become irreplaceable.

Working Out

I've never watched what I ate, counted calories, or forced myself into the gym to work out - I never had a reason to. I never needed to lose weight, I am always involved in athletics, and have no health problems that restrict my diet. The past month, though, I just didn't feel as healthy as I want to be. When I look in the mirror I don't dislike what I see, but I dislike how I feel. I am thin, but I don't feel fit, I am strong, but I don't feel powerful, I am at a healthy weight, but my body feels weighed down by foods I eat every day. I am a Coca Cola® addict - there, I said it.

I don't eat horrifically, but I drink a lot of Coke (sometimes I legitimately crave it), eat a lot of pastas, breads, carbs, and meat. I barely like any vegetables, I like fruit but don't eat a lot of it, have always consumed incredibly inadequate amounts of water given I am an athlete, and generally take in a lot of sugar. Most of the foods I eat have simple healthy alternatives - whole wheat pasta, whole wheat bread on my sandwich instead of white, grilled chicken instead of fried, etc.

So, with the new year I have begun a new workout routine and a healthier way of eating and living. I cannot stress enough, I am not trying to lose weight. I am not irrationally telling myself that I need to be thinner because I don't, and am happy with what I look like when I look in the mirror. I simply want to feel healthier and have a healthier body for the long run. I am trying to incorporate more fruits in my diet and venture out from the usual mac n' cheese dinner. The added bonus is that I LOVE to cook, so finding new recipes and trying them out is fun for me too. It's actually very difficult to find recipes that are healthy but not low calorie, because I need the calories. So far I have found a few favorites, and will add a page of my favorite recipes on this blog later today.

I have also set somewhat rigorous but undoubtedly achievable goals for myself in terms of my workout:

1. Run 6 days a week. This is the most important one, and one that I cannot "slip up" on because even professionals say that once you let yourself miss a few days of a routine it completely alters your motivation and drive to pick it back up again.
2. Weight lifting 3 of the days I run, and do an ab workout 3 of the days that I run.
3. I would love to incorporate swimming on the days that I do ab workouts (because they are less taxing than lifting) because it is an incredible, low-impact workout; however, I don't know what the pool situation will be once I get back to school... and I have a feeling that one might have to wait until this summer.

I am currently on day 4 of my new way of living, and the motivation/drive to workout is kicking in. The first 3 days I had to push myself to run, but right now I am sitting at work wishing I could go home and workout instead of sitting at this desk. I am not missing the Coke too much, and am forcing myself to drink more water because yesterday's run felt substantially worse and more sluggish than Saturday's and Sunday's, and I'm pretty sure I can attribute that to treating myself to a coffee in the morning and Coke at lunch since all I had to drink was water since Saturday. I know it sounds silly, but caffeine addictions are completely legitimate.

I use the Nike+ sensor, which a family friend gave me for Chanukah this year because I already had the Nike+ compatible shoes, and the Nike+ GPS app on my iPhone to track my runs, set goals, and see my progress. I love it and it definitely adds huge motivation and sense of accomplishment to set how far you want to run and then see that you achieved it.

The one thing I have to say about working out, and this is what made me an athlete from the moment I was born, is that when I run I feel unspeakably alive. The pounding of my heart in my chest, the ache in my legs telling me to stop, the hot sweat trickling down my back, and the burning of my lungs - sounds like something you would never want to submit yourself to, right? No, because feeling everything reminds me that I have a purpose, and I am doing something to make me better; and when I look behind me at the end of my workout and see how far I have come, how I didn't stop when everything in my body told me it would be easier to, I am alive.

Books, Art, and Music

I used to love to read. I'd go through a Nancy Drew book a week, and when I finished all of them (yes, every single one) I started the Hardy Boys books. I read effortlessly, enthusiastically, and relentlessly. My parents used to tell me to have to put my book down at the dinner table because it was as if I wasn't there, and I wasn't. I read until I lost track of time, until I knew the characters as my best friends, and until my eyes burned in the early hours of the morning. I feel like I lost that person in middle school and high school when reading became a chore. I would love to get back to that place where I can lose myself entirely in a book. I would love to read the famous, brilliant works of art that grace pop culture references that fly over your head until you know the words from the text, and I want to read the books that were banned until we came into a more progressive era, and the ones that nobody has heard of but speak the words in my heart in ways I don't know how to express. Lately I've had this craving to inject my life with more passion. I love photography and connect with music in a way I don't think most people do. They are both part of my life every day, but I long to feel more enriched by the world. I want to get back to playing guitar, and invest some time in the film camera I have, and read those books that I will fall in love with. The only problem is college. When I am there I can't do those things without feeling guilty, like there is some sort of work or studying that I should be doing instead. But, I would love to try so I'm setting some goals:

• To be to constantly reading something unrelated to academics, even if I only have time for a few pages each day or every few days.
• To bring my camera with me even when I don't think I will use, want, or need it. So many of my favorite pictures have been taken when I happen to have my camera with me, not when I set out to take pictures. That's part of what photography is for me - finding beauty in the unexpected. 
• Put some real time into getting better at the guitar. I get frustrated easily because my hands are small and sometimes I find a tab that involves a chord that I physically can't play because my fingers won't reach. Guitar is something you need to struggle through to get good at, and isn't easy to start, but will be well worth the hard work if I can get good at it.
• Continue to work out. I feel unspeakably alive when I am done running. I feel more connected to the Earth and the world around me, I am happier, and I feel better about myself. I am not in it to lose weight, but to be healthier and feel better every day.

Too many disconnect from the world. I don't want to forget the novels that inspired, the music that made us survive, or the passions that express the innermost secrets of our hearts.