My feminist philosophy professor challenged our class to fulfill, at least once, what the author of our reading hails as a difficult, anti-instinct way to cultivate compassion within ourselves and others. In honor of Valentine's Day and celebrating love, we must work to look at a stranger the way that somebody who is in love with that person would. Dean Spade, an FTM transgendered author, in his essay For Lovers and Fighters writes,
"Sometimes while I ride the subway I try to look at each person and imagine what they look like to someone who is totally in love with them. I think everyone has had someone look at them that way, whether it was a lover, or a parent, or a friend, whether they know it or not. It’s a wonderful thing, to look at someone to whom I would never be attracted and think about what looking at them feels like to someone who is devouring every part of their image, who has invisible strings that are connected to this person tied to every part of their body."
It's true, that in looking at strangers we are our most critical selves. A person walks on a bus or in a room and the first thing we do is assess what we think of his or her outfit, hairstyle, aura, etc; but what if we were to look a complete stranger, just for a moment, through the eyes of someone who utterly adores him or her? It's an interesting concept, and undoubtedly simultaneously promotes compassion and combats the shallow, competitive hostility that fills our world.
