I first encountered on in the Colorado airport over winter break. I wanted to refuse but the security long was incredibly long, others were waiting for pat downs for multiple reasons, and I was running late. I went into the body scanner, cringed at the sense of guilt as a member of the LGBTQQIAA community and strong activist, and continued on my way. Today, in the airport, I had plenty of time because I had to drive somebody else here in time for her flight, which was two hours earlier than mine. I wondered if I would have the chance to refuse, and I wondered if in my anti-conflict heart I preferred to not have the opportunity to refuse because they would direct me to the regular scanner; but, they didn’t. The security man directed me towards the full body scanner and I confidently refused. With a slightly confused look on his face he directed me towards another man who stood next to me in a roped in box that I needed to wait in. A TSA woman came over and asked which bags were mine to she could grab them from the belt for me and I moved in her direction so I could clearly point out which bins were mine on the piled up belt, where I was told in a strict and almost-fearful voice not to move by the man standing next to my little box. She grabbed my stuff and then I was escorted over to another area where she explained how she was going to pat me down and asked whether I would like the pat-down to be done in private. I said I was fine with it done in the public box, she did it, and I was on my way.
I wished she, or somebody, would have asked why I refused the full body scanner. Usually people have a reason other than “I think it’s wrong,” which likely explained the confused and suspicious way everybody treated me. While I completely understand the need for strict, harsh, watchful security in an airport, I was annoyed by the fact that my decision turned what is usually a friendly process for a 20-year-old 5’3” girl in to and experience that made me feel like I was suspected of dangerous activity and going to be on slightly close watch for the day. I think that, above all, was why I wished somebody had asked me why I refused, so I could explain to them that I was just like the countless of innocent people trying to get from one place to another. I wasn’t doing anything suspicious, was not trying to get around and security measures, or hide anything - I was trying to make a point that this system isn’t right, and that I will take a stand for it even if it doesn’t apply to me. Just because something doesn’t affect you and your life every day doesn’t mean it doesn’t affect you at all. I am a cisgendered bisexual woman and my body scan would have appeared completely “normal” to their standards, but I am not free until all gender-identities are free.
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