Election 2012: Who Will You Be?

At the end of the day you have to ask yourself who do you want dictating what value you, your identity, and the identity of the ones you love has in our government's eyes. When women experience perpetuated sexism that is reminiscent of the mid-twentieth century, or are likened to livestock in Georgia (it happened yesterday), it will impact their entitlement to an equal economics as well. Sexism, homophobia, racism, and classism all depend on capitalist institutions to survive. Taking a chance on a better economy is not beneficial if the social policy of that candidate prevents equal access to the opportunities it provides. I agree that we need a change, but I think that there is a nationwide understanding that Obama's economic policies didn't get the job done the first time around and he won't ignore it. Needing a change doesn't necessarily mean opt for the other guy IF the alternative's other, non-economic policies pose such threatening consequences as they do now. There's an assumption being made by a large portion of America that an improved economy under Romney's policy means we all have access to it in the same ways but we don't and would not. I want a better economy too, but I will not jeopardize my rights and happiness for it. Furthermore, this isn't just about what is right for me and my identity, but also the identity of others. The racism and classism in Romney's campaign is sickening, and it's simply not in my values to focus solely on what I can gain from the government if that same government can't offer those closest to me the same opportunities.

My Second Family

This weekend was Pride weekend in many states across the U.S., and for me that was St. Louis, Missouri. Since graduating high school I've taken on a "never hide" outlook, and become much more outwardly representative of who I am and the things that I believe in, be it LGBTQ rights, women's rights, racism, classism, health care, etc. I am proud of this person, but with it has come some anxiety of what connections I might lose in the process. Amazing people that love me very much could still hold beliefs that would alienate us from each other, especially when the things I mentioned typically aren't trivial opinions.

I love a lot of people, but there are few that have the power to hurt me deeply or create a lasting, un-fillable hole in me. There are many people who might disagree with who I am and my opinions, but few whose disagreement I would seriously care about; but it occurred to me, one Christmas celebration how there are some people who mean so much to me that a disagreement in who I am would send the biggest parts of me - my identity and the ones I love - in opposition to each other. A slight anxiety built as gifts were traded and stolen and laughter filled the air and I wondered if this experience would be different if they knew; but, my "never hide" outlook surpasses any fear I could have. My mother instilled a strong sense of "be who you are, no matter what," so I didn't hide.

So I post statuses on Facebook and write about those beliefs, and stand strong in those opinions and the people who matter most to me didn't pause for a second before supporting me. They never fail to "like" a status and reassure me that I am just as much family to them as they are to me.

I have a best friend that is the best person I have ever met, and she comes with a family that is driven by love for each other and support. They are amazing, resilient people who only do good, and over the last six years have opened their arms to me. I love every single one of them, and their support means more to me than I can express. This thank you is long overdue, but I am never quite sure how to express the gratitude I feel. The truest mark of their greatness as individuals is that when they read this, they probably will think that they don't need to be thanked for viewing the world the way that all people should. I am so lucky to be blessed by the constant support of you guys, and I love you.

Full Body Scans at Airports, Why I Refused

These full body security scanners have been added to many airports nationally and pose a serious privacy risk for trans-identified individuals. When going through security individuals are selected at random to be scanned by this machine instead of your typical walk-through security booth. A person has the option to refuse, but if they take this option they must commit to a full body pat down by a member of the same sex. Going through these machines pose a risk of being outed, subject to further security measures, and other issues for a trans person. Binders would be visible, packing could be visible, etc. Not only could a trans-person’s identity be revealed, something that for many is an incredibly person and private piece of them, but they could then be asked to reveal what the binder or packing is, why they use it, etc. We can all agree that this is not okay.

I first encountered on in the Colorado airport over winter break. I wanted to refuse but the security long was incredibly long, others were waiting for pat downs for multiple reasons, and I was running late. I went into the body scanner, cringed at the sense of guilt as a member of the LGBTQQIAA community and strong activist, and continued on my way. Today, in the airport, I had plenty of time because I had to drive somebody else here in time for her flight, which was two hours earlier than mine. I wondered if I would have the chance to refuse, and I wondered if in my anti-conflict heart I preferred to not have the opportunity to refuse because they would direct me to the regular scanner; but, they didn’t. The security man directed me towards the full body scanner and I confidently refused. With a slightly confused look on his face he directed me towards another man who stood next to me in a roped in box that I needed to wait in. A TSA woman came over and asked which bags were mine to she could grab them from the belt for me and I moved in her direction so I could clearly point out which bins were mine on the piled up belt, where I was told in a strict and almost-fearful voice not to move by the man standing next to my little box. She grabbed my stuff and then I was escorted over to another area where she explained how she was going to pat me down and asked whether I would like the pat-down to be done in private. I said I was fine with it done in the public box, she did it, and I was on my way.

I wished she, or somebody, would have asked why I refused the full body scanner. Usually people have a reason other than “I think it’s wrong,” which likely explained the confused and suspicious way everybody treated me. While I completely understand the need for strict, harsh, watchful security in an airport, I was annoyed by the fact that my decision turned what is usually a friendly process for a 20-year-old 5’3” girl in to and experience that made me feel like I was suspected of dangerous activity and going to be on slightly close watch for the day. I think that, above all, was why I wished somebody had asked me why I refused, so I could explain to them that I was just like the countless of innocent people trying to get from one place to another. I wasn’t doing anything suspicious, was not trying to get around and security measures, or hide anything - I was trying to make a point that this system isn’t right, and that I will take a stand for it even if it doesn’t apply to me.  Just because something doesn’t affect you and your life every day doesn’t mean it doesn’t affect you at all. I am a cisgendered bisexual woman and my body scan would have appeared completely “normal” to their standards, but I am not free until all gender-identities are free.

Kony 2012 - After those moments of reflecting on your own gratefulness for the life you've been given.

The whole eruption of the Kony 2012 campaign has put a lot of people into a place of deep reflection on their own lives; how am I fortunate in ways I never consider, am I doing enough to give back, and how can I enrich my life by contributing to organizations like these? What upset me most about the campaign is that a huge aspect of it is that nobody, or at least very few people, know about this. The aspect of this whole reflection that came after those initial questions, for me, was that here is another organization putting forth a cause that is incredibly worthy of attention and support. Here are people suffering in ways that most of the world is oblivious too, and they deserve our aid and support. How do I know where to focus my energy and resources and fight, when there are so many important "fights" that I already am aware of let alone the ones that I have clearly lived a good part of my life being unaware of. As of right now I give most of the time and donations a college student can give to organizations that support LGBT equality, environmental and wildlife foundations, and, if I can spare it, support foundations for teen suicide and self harm like To Write Love on Her Arms. Now that already ignores my devotion to women's rights, the battle against rape and sexual assault victims, the right to health care for all within the United States, those in Japan who are still homeless from the tsunami, poverty, racial issues, and religious oppression. This post is not to in any way lessen the importance of the issue that Kony2012 sheds light on; it is an incredibly important issue that has my support and action to both educate and contribute to the resources necessary to combat it. This post is meant to express the overwhelming helplessness I feel in knowing that I, and others, have lived so long without knowing the suffering of these people and acknowledging that, given that fact, there are probably countless other battles to be fought that we don't know about, too; furthermore, it's to express the helplessness I feel even in having three or four serious causes I would like to give to and can't.

Ultimately you can't make an argument for whose plight is worse, who needs your help more, or who needs more resources; you just can't. Is it children who worry about being abducted and forced to kill their parents; is it the partner of a 15 years of a soldier who risked her life for me, and you, and everybody else in this country, who is in a hospital bed alone because her girlfriend isn't legally allowed to see her in states like New Jersey; is it the red pandas being illegally hunted and ruthlessly skinned alive, all for their fur, that don't even have a voice? As I said, everybody can have their priorities, but nobody can deem one inequality worse or moe important than another.

The only conclusion I can come to is to set my feet in to causes that I attach my life to; these are the ones that consume my life because I am an LGBT feminist woman who is simultaneously passionate about the psychology of severely troubled young adults and animals. In addition, when a new cause such as a natural disaster tragedy or as it did tonight with Kony2012, I will do what I think is the right thing and contribute what I can but not sideline the causes to which I dedicate my life. I am coming to the... yes, helpless... conclusion that I can't give my heart to every cause, but I can contribute and say I made a difference without abandoning those organizations that have always had my unwavering support, unconditional dedication, and heart. I can't save the world, but we can.